i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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