Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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