just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
