I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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