Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
