i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
