I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
