I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
