Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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