My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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