8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
