Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
