found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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