Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
