she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize