best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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