I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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