just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
