Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
