the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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