Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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