some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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