used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
