Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
