i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize