You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize