The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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