the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
