you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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