My hair reeks of homosexuality.
4 words: hood of his car
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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