i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
