we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
