Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
