I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Your penis caused this!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
