3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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