Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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