I CAN MOONWALK!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
