I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
