his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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