Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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