my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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