not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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