and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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