whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize