You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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