Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
