That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
