how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize