if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm passing your future prison.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
