carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He did a backflip because drugs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
