ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
