I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm at about main and main street
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
