thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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