Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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