i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
