Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
