I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
