U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize