Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
